I was recently contacted by someone who was looking for private role play. This individual was initially interested in joining Birchwood Isle Family Discipline RPG, but decided that the group wasn't for him. This is fairly typical when people realize one of a number of things, including the fact that our group is very active, or that it doesn't focus on diapers, or that we expect good grammar and spelling. It is also fairly typical to receive e-mails of this sort, asking for private play. Knowing that this isn't a phenomenon that is exclusive to me (but which happens with a large number of group owners), I thought that I would address some of the problems with this practice.
1. I'm a submissive, not a dominant. In the time that I have been role playing on spanking sites, the majority of these requests involve someone asking me to be a parent to their inner kid or to spank their child character(s). The request has never been preceded with the question of whether I am a spanker or a spankee. Instead, the assumption is made that I am a "top" due to the fact that I am a group owner.
2. I don't know you. If you're e-mailing me privately in response to one of my ads on an ageplay group in order to ask me for private sessions, chances are that you don't know me. In order to play privately with someone, I need to have built up quite a bit of trust with them. Right now I roleplay privately with only one person, and she lives with me.
3. I'm not into the things you're asking for. Most of the times that I get these requests, they come with unusual preferences tacked on. People want their sixteen year-old boy put into diapers, or they want unusual spanking positions, implements, or they want to roleplay sexual abuse. I'm not cool with this, particularly if I don't know you.
4. I have enough inner children to re-parent on any given day. I'm very careful about who I take on and I'm always aware of the time commitment required in order to best provide for the needs of the inner children in my care. I'm very good at what I do, and if you want that opportunity, then join Birchwood Isle Family Discipline roleplay.
5. I'm running a very active and relatively large role playing site; I don't have time for private play. BWI requires a lot of work from me as the head admin. There is a lot involved in taking care of this site and keeping up with the regular maintenance that it requires. Not only do I take care of (or help to take care of) the majority of the inner kids on the site (a significant number) but I also do most of the building.
6. I don't do the gender pairing that you're asking for. This isn't usually a big issue, but sometimes people ask me for gender or age pairings that I just don't do. I'm not a big fan of F/M, F/F or F/f scenarios, and I prefer to do these only in situations with people I have already built a relationship.
The long and short of it is that I don't want to spank your inner kid (or child character) because you don't know me well enough to understand that my preference is to play the child character and not the adult. You're asking a lot of me when you ask me to be an adult for you. If I don't know you, why should I put forth that kind of effort?
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